Staggeringly Brilliant!

Happy St. Paddy's Day! Let's have a Blood Drive!

I walked into my office building this morning, wearing the obligitory green sweater (the days when I enjoyed being pinched by strangers are long past)...and what to my wondering eyes doth appear, but a sign announcing the big Red Cross Blood Drive being held today from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. "That's nice, what a worthwhile charitable endeavor," I thought to myself. Then it hit me: "What kind of genius holds a blood drive on St. Patrick's Day?"

Think of the ramifications for just a moment:

My first giggle was for the brain trusts who would give blood on their lunch break, then get rip-roarin' drunk on four sips of green beer at the Ha'Penny Pub's Happy Hour after work. I do not envy them the headache they will have when (if) they awake. But they'll deserve it for being stupid. I'm not a nice enough person to feel any real sympathy for those poor sots, but I'm willing to mine their plight for laughs.

In my innocence, it didn't immediately occur to me that some people start celebrating early on this, their favorite holiday, work day or not. My co-worker who donates blood regularly says she's pretty sure they don't ask you if you've been drinking when you give blood. Seems like getting rid of a pint of blood wouldn't be the best way to improve your blood alcohol level. Might not be the best way to avoid a hangover, either. I'm just sayin'...

I don't know enough about biology to know whether a drunk's blood would adversely affect a recipient if they receive a transfusion with a significant blood alcohol level--but it sounds like a recipe for tragedy...or a Saturday Night Live skit.

Let's just hope they're screening the blood for high levels of Guiness.

Does it make me a bad person to want to follow some of these blood donating revelers to the pubs and watch the show?