I'm Starting Suspect Something
I've noticed a trend, and I'm trying to decide if I'm going to take it personally.
Every single time I leave a place (a town, a job, a college), they make a significant improvement that I'm not around to enjoy. Think I'm exaggerating? Consider this:
- The year after I graduated from Columbia Christian High School, they got new lockers and new carpet. This was a big deal, since the old carpet and lockers dated back to the years when Dad taught there (i.e. the 1970s).
- The year after I left York College, they built a new Student Center and a new Science Building (not that I would have ever voluntarily darkened the door of the Science Building).
- The year after I graduated from Cascade College, they built a new dorm and expanded, remodeled and redecorated the Student Center. The SC went from "dive" to "actually worth entering" as soon as I was gone.
- The year after I left my unbelievably crappy job at the mortgage company in Oklahoma City, they moved to a new building (closer to where I'd lived), AND got better benefits, more vacation time, and across the board raises.
- Within a year (or so) after I left the Portland area, they built a Krispy Kreme a mile from my old condo, finished the MAX line from Gateway to the airport, and my old congregation built a new auditorium .
- I just found out that a few months after I leave Boise, they're building a Cheesecake Factory by the mall, and an Old Spaghetti Factory one block from my office.
What the heck?!?!? Why do they gotta wait till I leave to do something nice? I think I'm going to take it as a personal affront. Wouldn't you?
posted by Unknown at
10:15 AM
8 Comments:
It's only because your presence makes any location look horrible in comparison to you. It just takes them a while to figure it out, and by the time they are making improvements to bring it up to your standard or beauty, you are out of there.
(TOTAL kiss-up answer.)
By
RoniZee, at 11:02 AM
That is the BEST answer ever. And you are my new best friend.
By
Unknown, at 11:05 AM
Does that mean we are going to get "Best Friend" broken heart necklaces?
Dibs on the "st ends" one.
By
RoniZee, at 11:16 AM
Roni, I just threw up in my mouth.
Gina, nothing personal...and yes I know the feeling, right around the same time I stopped eatting all wheat products they put in a Krispy Kreme (k or c?) like two blocks from my house. Jerks!
By
Jess, at 11:18 AM
nxrmzmzDo they still make those necklaces? I desperately wanted one of those in middle school, but I had 3 or 4 best friends and I didn't want to leave anyone out. So I missed out on the coolest of cool jewelry trends due to my indecisiveness, sensitivity, and popularity.ยก
I think I just made myself throw up a little, too.
Jess, I would rather have every city I leave cover itself in pure gold than stop eating wheat products, so now I feel bad for whining. But not that bad. Because it's all about me.
By
Unknown, at 12:58 PM
Those first few letters of my last comment aren't a new onomatopoeia. I was just having issues re: word verification + cursor location.
By
Unknown, at 1:00 PM
I totally understand gina! When I moved from coosbay to California they immediatly raised the earned tax income brackets to a place where I would have been making bank!
When I moved from Sactown to the 'Couve, Sacramento's crime rate instantly went from top 10% to lower 5%!
When I moved from Vancouver to Lubbock, Vancouver had 7 new riteaids move in!
When I moved from Lubbock to Portugal....lubbock continued to be the worst place imaginable.
From Amadora back to the 'Couve, Lisbon/Amadora got a new metro line right infront of my old aparment. And to boot, Portugal offered free Krispy Kremes to all Americans currently residing within the city limits. They did this to show gratitude for us kicking Germany's ass in WW2...You're welcome.
By
Ryan Woods, at 10:44 PM
"Lubbock continued to be the worst place imaginable."
I can't stop laughing!
You're just making that Krispy Kreme thing up, you goof.
By
Unknown, at 1:44 PM
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