One Feisty Blog

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Friday, August 18, 2006

Smells Like Teen Spirit

Has anyone ever noticed how ridiculous perfume and cologne names are? Obsession? Really? This is supposed to be a positive thing? We're all longing for stalkers and want to lure them to us with department store perfume? Or Cool Water? Do we really need to spend $60 an ounce to smell like something we can get from the bathroom faucet for free? How about Lovely--Sarah Jessica Parker. Seriously? I can't stop the ironic giggling. They should have named it Bridle or Alfalfa or Seabiscuit.

I think my new job should be thinking up names for new perfumes and colognes. I can think of dozens off the top of my head, but I'll limit myself to a Top 8 of the selections starting with the letter F.

1.) Flange

2.) Flimsy

3.) Fugue

4.) Frilly

5.) Fromage (everything sounds better in French, even cheese)

6.) Façade

7.) Fiasco

8.) Flummox

Don't those sound lovely? I think they fit right in with the scents I see advertised in the glossy magazines. Once again, I wish I hadn't limited myself to a Top 8 list...there was no room for Fussbudget or Fetid.

posted by Unknown at 11:23 AM

9 Comments:

  • If you're feeling adventurous, check out the scent names (and descriptions) at Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, which claims to have "mastered the art of encapsulating allegorical ideas into singular olfactory experiences." Creepy-cool.

    By Blogger Lindsey, at 2:45 PM  

  • THAT is totally WICKED! I want every single one of them, and I'm one of those women who wears perfume about three times a year.

    By Blogger Unknown, at 3:01 PM  

  • not to mention...funky, flapjack, farm, farina. I could go on..

    By Blogger dodyb, at 12:59 PM  

  • So you see what I mean...not enough room for all the options. (Sadly, I know plenty of people who smell mighty funky without the aid of cologne or perfume.)

    By Blogger Unknown, at 3:22 PM  

  • how did I miss the Seabiscuit thing the first 2 times I read this? I LOVE IT!

    By Blogger arwen, at 8:00 PM  

  • i like to say that things smell like teen spirit. all the time. too much, probably. any type of smell, if someone says "what is that..." or "that stinks..." or "do you smell that?"

    without fail i'll say "smells like teen spirit." i just can't help it.

    By Blogger rebecca marie, at 11:05 PM  

  • Arwen, I never miss an opportunity to mock an annoying celebrity. You should know this by now.

    RM, I think that's only appropriate, since YOU smell like teen spirit.

    By Blogger Unknown, at 10:25 AM  

  • Speaking of perfume, why do some people feel the need to wear SO much of it? I have even had to sit by people in the movie theater and ON AN AIRPLANE that had way too much on. It makes me want to kill them. KILL them.

    By Blogger RoniZee, at 9:32 AM  

  • That reminds me of a lady that attended church with my grandparents. Her perfume bothered Grandpa so much that they had to (gasp!) move from their family pew to another part of the building. Boy, was she wafting.

    I sometimes wonder if those people have lost their sense of smell. How can they NOT know that they smell like the perfume counter at Macy's? And not in a good way.

    By Blogger Unknown, at 10:00 AM  

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