You Know How I Know I'm Old?: Top 8 Things That Prove Gina's a Fogey
Okay, I was trying to quote a movie with my post's title, but I don't think it was an effective attempt. Oh well. It would be funny if you could hear it the way it sounds in my head.
I'm only 32 years old, but I'm pretty sure I'm 80 on the inside. There are many ways that I can tell that I'm getting old, so since confession is good for the soul, I thought I'd share a few...
1.) Just the other day, some cute little girls from the neighborhood were scooting down the sidewalk on their Razors, and instead of thinking, "Aw, how cute/fun/sweet!" I thought, "Darn kids! Get off my lawn!"
2.) The other day, I was inordinately thrilled over my purchase of a new pair of slippers. And they were this kind:Not this kind:
3.) I have had at least half a dozen conversations about 401k retirement investment accounts this week. And it's only Thursday morning. And I'm not an accountant.
4.) A few weeks ago, I was waiting for my niece in the Juniors section of JC Penney, and found myself gazing at a rack of skirts. They were plaid, and I love me some plaid. A few years ago, I would have tried one on. But instead of thinking, "Cute!" I heard my dad's voice saying, "Nice belt. Where's the rest of it?" And I agreed with the voice.
5.) The other day, a co-worker was describing his impromptu roadtrip from Boise to Seattle (which took less than 36 hours, round-trip, and did not include a good night's sleep). Instead of admiring his spontaneity, as I would have done when I was young and hip, I scoffed at him. I've taken to scoffing at spontaneity, people!
6.) Back in the day, my only criteria when it came to deciding what I wanted to eat was, "Will it taste yummy?" Now it's "Will it give me heartburn?" I take a minimum of 8 Rolaids a day. That's just sad.
7.) I've recently realized I make little grunting noises whenever I sit down on (or get up from) the couch. This pathetic display started long before I got all pregnant and cumbersome. The other day I found myself longing for a trip to the furniture store to buy couches that were less cushy and more exit-friendly. It's pitiful, really.
8.) A few weeks ago, The Rolling Stones came to town. Yes, that's right. They came to Boise, Idaho. THAT'S never happened before! Now, I lovelovelove most of The Stones' music, and a friend (whose opinion I hold in the utmost esteem, particularly with regard to music) had nothing but praise for their live show. But instead of getting out my wallet and taking advantage of this once in a lifetime opportunity to see one of the last great rock bands LIVE and IN PERSON? I thought, "Eh, the concert is on a weeknight. And the traffic is going to be terrible. And I don't want to be there to witness Mick breaking a hip--at his age, he really should know better. I'd rather just stay home and watch House."
My 21 year-old self would be so disappointed in me.